SO, long story short I dated my friend's ex.
Was it stupid? yeah.
WAS It educational? yeah.
Was it worth it? hell no
I dont know what i was thinking, honestly. But it happened. NOthing else to say
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Peter
Ok, so did I hope?
Yeah, yeah I did.
I've always sorta known him, but we've never been close. And than two days ago he chatted me, and we ended up chatting for two days straight. Literally.
He is a GREAT friend, and I kinda hoped it would staythat way. And than Eliza found ot, and wenall freaky friend on me, and hacked into my ITouch and messed around with my facebook, and read my chats with him
-___-
I mean, wat kind of friend does that????
NOw he'll think I"m some pycho freak and hes not answering my messages.
Fantastic.
Thanks a lot Eliza.
Yeah, yeah I did.
I've always sorta known him, but we've never been close. And than two days ago he chatted me, and we ended up chatting for two days straight. Literally.
He is a GREAT friend, and I kinda hoped it would staythat way. And than Eliza found ot, and wenall freaky friend on me, and hacked into my ITouch and messed around with my facebook, and read my chats with him
-___-
I mean, wat kind of friend does that????
NOw he'll think I"m some pycho freak and hes not answering my messages.
Fantastic.
Thanks a lot Eliza.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Coconut
Cocnut's my guinea pig. I got him as a 10th birthday present. Right now hes downstairs in his cage in the kitchen, barely moving. He wont stand up, hes all slumped on the ground, hes not breathing right, and he hasnt eaten. THere's not enough poop and he might not make it through the night.
God, Apollo, Air, I really dont care.
Whatevers up there, let my guinea pig live. He's not even three years old yet.
Please.
God, Apollo, Air, I really dont care.
Whatevers up there, let my guinea pig live. He's not even three years old yet.
Please.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Hunger Games Countdown Widget
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Thursday, July 14, 2011
Dammit
Found out that Evan, my only guy friend in the world, likes me-- again. I feel sorry for the kid, really, but I'm confident he'll be off to another girl in a few weeks, just like last time. Except last time he moved on to my best friend. Who hed never talked to once. Ever.
Yeah I gave him fair warning this time.
Good luck, Evan
Yeah I gave him fair warning this time.
Good luck, Evan
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Going Out There
Alrite, so my new school year resolution is to talk to popular people without being so... shy. I'm gonna go out there and speak to them as though they were already my friends.
:D
:D
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Teenage Thoughts
Ya know the typical teenage punchline "I can't wait till i move out!" well, here are a list of reasons I can't wait for college:
- I can decorate my room the way I want, with the furniture I want
- I can actually CHANGE THE SONG on the radio without my mom spazzing out at me
- I'll be able to make my own schedule, with the lessons and activities I want for me, not what SHE wants for me
- I can go places without her permission or car
- I can live my life without constantly worrying about her snapping at me via PMS
- When I shop I won't need her permission or momey, and I won't have her breathing down my neck
- My social life will be LOADS better without her "parental restraints"
- I will be able to check out what a white person's life feels like
- I can eat the foods I want. Or, more precisely, NOT eat food when I want
Monday, July 4, 2011
Sucker Punch
A movie about a girl.
Baby Doll is 20 years old. When her mother dies, her stepfather finds out that the rich mother left all her money to her daughters. Furious, Stepfather kills Baby Doll's little sister. Baby Doll threatens him with a gun and shoots him in the arm. The police come.
Baby Doll watches helplessly as her Stepfather blames the murder on her, and as the tranquilizer seeps into her veins. When she wakes, she is being pushed into an insane asylum. Blue is in charge here, and he is bribed by Stepfather to give Baby Doll a lobotomy. A lobotomy is the removal of a part of her brain. She will not be able to tell the truth to the police, or inherit her mother's money. She will be a vegateble, Emotionless. Selffless. Lifeless, but still living.
Madame Grovil is the therapist at the asylum. It is required for her to sign a form in order for there to be a lobotomy. Blue forges her signature, and hands it in. The doctor comes five days later to perform the surgery.
The movie flashes back to day one, where Baby Doll has created an alternate world for the Asylum. Instead of an insane ward, it is a place for Pleasure, where men come to watch them dance and spend the night with any they choose. THere is, of course, a price tag on pleasure. Blue became the director and owner. Madam Grovil becomes the dance instructor.
Baby Doll is determined to break free. She hatches a plan with the rest of the girls: Blondie, Amber, Sweet Pea, and Rocket. Sweet Pea is Rocket's older sister, and it very protective. When Madame Grovil instructs Baby Doll to dance, she becomes trapped in the music, and her mind goes into a world where there is snow, and an asian temple. She walks into the temple to find an old man. The old man gives her weapons, and tells her that in order to escape the asylum she must find five things: A map, fire, a knife, a key, and something else that is a mystery.
The girls entrap the owner of each item with Baby Doll's amazing dance, and steal each item one by one. During each dance, Baby Doll goes into a different world, where she is constantly in battle to find something parallel to the object she is looking for in real life. All goes well when they steal the map and lighter, but by than Blue is onto them. He threatens them, but they keep going. While robbing a knife in the kitchen, the music is interrupted by a flow of water, and for a second Baby Doll stops dancing. At that precise momoent Rocket was in the middle of taking the knife. Furious, the cook stabs Rocket, killing her. Sweet Pea is hysterical, and fights the gurds that begin pouring into the kitchen. Blue comes in and yells at the cook, than demands Sweet Pea be locked in the closet.
That night before the show Blue comes into the dressing room and kills Amber and Blondie to show an "example" He than tries to rape Baby Doll, but she grabs the stolen knife and stabs him. She takes the master key hanging around his neck, and leaves to rescue Sweet Pea from the closet. They make their way out as planned, but there is a group of henchmen outside. Baby Doll realizes that she is the fifth and final thing. She uses herself as a distraction while Sweet Pea escapes, and wakes up in a room where she is supposed to do her job as pleasure-giver with a rich, but kind man.
All of a sudden it flahes back to reality. Baby Doll is in the asylum, and the lobotomy has just been performed. Dr Grovil realizes that her signature was forged, and calls the police on Blue. Meanwhile, Blue assaluts Baby Doll, but she is no longer herself. Frustrated, Blue begins to strangle her, but nothing works. Suddenly the police barge in and take Blue away, leaving Baby Doll alone and emotionless, as she would forever be.
She made the ultamite sacrifice. But because of her sacrifice Sweet Pea was now free. She stole better clothes from someone's drying laundry and boarded a train. The train driver was kind, and let her in without a ticket. She goes away to freedom, which is what they were all fighting for in the first place.
Baby Doll is 20 years old. When her mother dies, her stepfather finds out that the rich mother left all her money to her daughters. Furious, Stepfather kills Baby Doll's little sister. Baby Doll threatens him with a gun and shoots him in the arm. The police come.
Baby Doll watches helplessly as her Stepfather blames the murder on her, and as the tranquilizer seeps into her veins. When she wakes, she is being pushed into an insane asylum. Blue is in charge here, and he is bribed by Stepfather to give Baby Doll a lobotomy. A lobotomy is the removal of a part of her brain. She will not be able to tell the truth to the police, or inherit her mother's money. She will be a vegateble, Emotionless. Selffless. Lifeless, but still living.
Madame Grovil is the therapist at the asylum. It is required for her to sign a form in order for there to be a lobotomy. Blue forges her signature, and hands it in. The doctor comes five days later to perform the surgery.
The movie flashes back to day one, where Baby Doll has created an alternate world for the Asylum. Instead of an insane ward, it is a place for Pleasure, where men come to watch them dance and spend the night with any they choose. THere is, of course, a price tag on pleasure. Blue became the director and owner. Madam Grovil becomes the dance instructor.
Baby Doll is determined to break free. She hatches a plan with the rest of the girls: Blondie, Amber, Sweet Pea, and Rocket. Sweet Pea is Rocket's older sister, and it very protective. When Madame Grovil instructs Baby Doll to dance, she becomes trapped in the music, and her mind goes into a world where there is snow, and an asian temple. She walks into the temple to find an old man. The old man gives her weapons, and tells her that in order to escape the asylum she must find five things: A map, fire, a knife, a key, and something else that is a mystery.
The girls entrap the owner of each item with Baby Doll's amazing dance, and steal each item one by one. During each dance, Baby Doll goes into a different world, where she is constantly in battle to find something parallel to the object she is looking for in real life. All goes well when they steal the map and lighter, but by than Blue is onto them. He threatens them, but they keep going. While robbing a knife in the kitchen, the music is interrupted by a flow of water, and for a second Baby Doll stops dancing. At that precise momoent Rocket was in the middle of taking the knife. Furious, the cook stabs Rocket, killing her. Sweet Pea is hysterical, and fights the gurds that begin pouring into the kitchen. Blue comes in and yells at the cook, than demands Sweet Pea be locked in the closet.
That night before the show Blue comes into the dressing room and kills Amber and Blondie to show an "example" He than tries to rape Baby Doll, but she grabs the stolen knife and stabs him. She takes the master key hanging around his neck, and leaves to rescue Sweet Pea from the closet. They make their way out as planned, but there is a group of henchmen outside. Baby Doll realizes that she is the fifth and final thing. She uses herself as a distraction while Sweet Pea escapes, and wakes up in a room where she is supposed to do her job as pleasure-giver with a rich, but kind man.
All of a sudden it flahes back to reality. Baby Doll is in the asylum, and the lobotomy has just been performed. Dr Grovil realizes that her signature was forged, and calls the police on Blue. Meanwhile, Blue assaluts Baby Doll, but she is no longer herself. Frustrated, Blue begins to strangle her, but nothing works. Suddenly the police barge in and take Blue away, leaving Baby Doll alone and emotionless, as she would forever be.
She made the ultamite sacrifice. But because of her sacrifice Sweet Pea was now free. She stole better clothes from someone's drying laundry and boarded a train. The train driver was kind, and let her in without a ticket. She goes away to freedom, which is what they were all fighting for in the first place.
4th of July
No, we didn't see fireworks. Or wear red, white, and blue.
See that's what I get for being born to an asian family. I miss out on so many holidays and celerbrations. But I don't care. I had a pretty great day today. :D
See that's what I get for being born to an asian family. I miss out on so many holidays and celerbrations. But I don't care. I had a pretty great day today. :D
Friday, July 1, 2011
Love me. Love me not. Love me. Love me not.....
It's so strange how differently people view me.
Amoungst my asian friends I'm something of a hero, or leader. I'm someone who knows what she is doing, and people follow me. Not even amoungst asians, but the unpopular population in general loves me. But as soon as I see someone popular, I realize just how low ranked I am and I stop being the leader, the person who knows what she is doing. Instead I become all shy and make sure I don't give any of them a reason to hate me or find me annoying. But by doing that I'm not being me, and not being m sucks.
Sometimes I wonder "What the hell are you doing, Ingrid?" but other times I feel like I'm doing the right thing. Is it so wrong to not want people to hate me? Is it not right for me to be pleased that in general, I succeed? When someone doesn't like me, I want to find out why, and fix it. I mold myself for each person I know, and I can say quite honestly that I don't hate a single person on this planet, and I hope none of them hates me.
Amoungst my asian friends I'm something of a hero, or leader. I'm someone who knows what she is doing, and people follow me. Not even amoungst asians, but the unpopular population in general loves me. But as soon as I see someone popular, I realize just how low ranked I am and I stop being the leader, the person who knows what she is doing. Instead I become all shy and make sure I don't give any of them a reason to hate me or find me annoying. But by doing that I'm not being me, and not being m sucks.
Sometimes I wonder "What the hell are you doing, Ingrid?" but other times I feel like I'm doing the right thing. Is it so wrong to not want people to hate me? Is it not right for me to be pleased that in general, I succeed? When someone doesn't like me, I want to find out why, and fix it. I mold myself for each person I know, and I can say quite honestly that I don't hate a single person on this planet, and I hope none of them hates me.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Appearences
At age twelve, I look like this:
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No, I'm not the proudest of how I look, but sometimes I think of myself as pretty, and other times I look in the mirror and almost barf. I wonder why that is. I never wear makeup, so my appearence is in no way altered by that. It's just sometimes I like how I look and sometimes I.... Dont.
And than I wonder how the world sees me. What do people see when they look at my face? Do they think I'm pretty, or ugly? Because the truth it, it DOES matter how other people see you, not just how you see you. It's all abuot looks now, in the world. Life is so much easier for the pretty girls, and I know that though I'll never be one of them, I'd sure like to be, and so would everybody else despite what they say. People are kinder to them, opportunities come by more. All because you have a pretty face. Which, to sum it up, really sucks. BEcause not all of us have pretty faces, but I guess that's just how the world is-unfair.
No, I'm not the proudest of how I look, but sometimes I think of myself as pretty, and other times I look in the mirror and almost barf. I wonder why that is. I never wear makeup, so my appearence is in no way altered by that. It's just sometimes I like how I look and sometimes I.... Dont.
And than I wonder how the world sees me. What do people see when they look at my face? Do they think I'm pretty, or ugly? Because the truth it, it DOES matter how other people see you, not just how you see you. It's all abuot looks now, in the world. Life is so much easier for the pretty girls, and I know that though I'll never be one of them, I'd sure like to be, and so would everybody else despite what they say. People are kinder to them, opportunities come by more. All because you have a pretty face. Which, to sum it up, really sucks. BEcause not all of us have pretty faces, but I guess that's just how the world is-unfair.
Cameryn
Needless to say, everywhere I go, There's always that one total bitch.
At Baymar, that girl is Cameryn. She walks and talks like she's at least 14 or 15, but she's my age, 12. Her hair is always seemingly effortlessly perfect, and she keeps flirting with James, a guy whos about to go to SENIOR HIGH in our group. I want to barf every time I see her do it. It's revolting, and she clearly doesn't know it.
I've always stood up for people, always. And until a few days ago, i never imagined there would be bullying or a reason to stand up for anyone at freaking summer camp! I mean, we're only going to be there for a week or two, and we spend way to much energy on the horses. But Cameryn's been riding there all her life, and she gets PAID to be there. I mean, WTF? So obviously she's comfortable enough to pick on other people.
We were playing egyption ratscrew, a card game made wildly popular at camp by me an some other girls. Cameryn had sat down to a game with us, and so did a girl named... wats it, Shana? Well, Shana is kinda on the plump sde and rather annoying, but she doesn't mean any harm. While she was away throwing something out in the trash, Cameryn grabbed her cards and tossed them to Sam, the girl siting next to me. She said "Guys, just take them, take them." And we all thought (well, i hope we all did. I did anyway) it was some sort of prank and we'd give the cards back once she asked for them, but we didn't. After a few times of "Where did my cards go?" Shana seemed to get it. But instead of taking the message and walking away like I would have, probably with some comment like "Wow, Cameryn, how low can you be?" Shana just kept on going, like "What, did the cards just walk off the table?" And being gullible me, I took some of her cards from Sam's pile, but no one noticed. After a while, Shana began to cry, but Cameryn still played dumb. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen. I kept looking questioningly at Cameryn, like "shouldn't we give them back now?" but Cameryn never responded. And she kept taunting Shana by saying things like "Would you like us to give you some of our cards?" and "What's wrong, Shana?" "Why are you crying, Shana?"
And I just let it drag, because I'm not interested in making enemies, and frankly, Cameryn is not someone I want to make an enemy out of. I felt really bad for Shana, but I guess it was her own fault for making a fool of herself by not walking away. She'll learn, in time, and though it was mean, it's things like this that're gonna teach her. It's how I learned.
When you are better or, should I say, more ahead in the wisdom of life, there are two ways you can treat people who are behind you. Mostly there are people who treat them nicely, knowing that in time they will grow and catch up. Then there are the people who treat them horridly, forcing them to learn the lessons that push them ahead. BUt unfortunately,this is the only or at least most effective way to teach. So though the people who are nice are those who we enjoy, it is people like Cameryn who really push us in life.
At Baymar, that girl is Cameryn. She walks and talks like she's at least 14 or 15, but she's my age, 12. Her hair is always seemingly effortlessly perfect, and she keeps flirting with James, a guy whos about to go to SENIOR HIGH in our group. I want to barf every time I see her do it. It's revolting, and she clearly doesn't know it.
I've always stood up for people, always. And until a few days ago, i never imagined there would be bullying or a reason to stand up for anyone at freaking summer camp! I mean, we're only going to be there for a week or two, and we spend way to much energy on the horses. But Cameryn's been riding there all her life, and she gets PAID to be there. I mean, WTF? So obviously she's comfortable enough to pick on other people.
We were playing egyption ratscrew, a card game made wildly popular at camp by me an some other girls. Cameryn had sat down to a game with us, and so did a girl named... wats it, Shana? Well, Shana is kinda on the plump sde and rather annoying, but she doesn't mean any harm. While she was away throwing something out in the trash, Cameryn grabbed her cards and tossed them to Sam, the girl siting next to me. She said "Guys, just take them, take them." And we all thought (well, i hope we all did. I did anyway) it was some sort of prank and we'd give the cards back once she asked for them, but we didn't. After a few times of "Where did my cards go?" Shana seemed to get it. But instead of taking the message and walking away like I would have, probably with some comment like "Wow, Cameryn, how low can you be?" Shana just kept on going, like "What, did the cards just walk off the table?" And being gullible me, I took some of her cards from Sam's pile, but no one noticed. After a while, Shana began to cry, but Cameryn still played dumb. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen. I kept looking questioningly at Cameryn, like "shouldn't we give them back now?" but Cameryn never responded. And she kept taunting Shana by saying things like "Would you like us to give you some of our cards?" and "What's wrong, Shana?" "Why are you crying, Shana?"
And I just let it drag, because I'm not interested in making enemies, and frankly, Cameryn is not someone I want to make an enemy out of. I felt really bad for Shana, but I guess it was her own fault for making a fool of herself by not walking away. She'll learn, in time, and though it was mean, it's things like this that're gonna teach her. It's how I learned.
When you are better or, should I say, more ahead in the wisdom of life, there are two ways you can treat people who are behind you. Mostly there are people who treat them nicely, knowing that in time they will grow and catch up. Then there are the people who treat them horridly, forcing them to learn the lessons that push them ahead. BUt unfortunately,this is the only or at least most effective way to teach. So though the people who are nice are those who we enjoy, it is people like Cameryn who really push us in life.
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