Love me. Love me not. Love me. Love me not.....

It's so strange how differently people view me.
          Amoungst my asian friends I'm something of a hero, or leader. I'm someone who knows what she is doing, and people follow me. Not even amoungst asians, but the unpopular population in general loves me. But as soon as I see someone popular, I realize just how low ranked I am and I stop being the leader, the person who knows what she is doing. Instead I become all shy and make sure I don't give any of them a reason to hate me or find me annoying. But by doing that I'm not being me, and not being m sucks.
         Sometimes I wonder "What the hell are you doing, Ingrid?" but other times I feel like I'm doing the right thing. Is it so wrong to not want people to hate me? Is it not right for me to be pleased that in general, I succeed? When someone doesn't like me, I want to find out why, and fix it. I mold myself for each person I know, and I can say quite honestly that I don't hate a single person on this planet, and I hope none of them hates me.